is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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