GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Randomize
