I bet he comes in French.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
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