...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Randomize