Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
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