so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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