I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
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