Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Randomize
