Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
