Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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