i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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