these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
