What a fucking waste of an outfit
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
