it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
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