i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
too bad you live with your parents still
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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