Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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