She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Randomize
