he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
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