i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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