I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
