Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.