She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
17 Women That Lost Condoms Up Their Lady Parts
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
23 People Confess The Most F*cked Up Thing Guests Have Done In Their House
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?