Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
16 Sexual Experiences EVERYONE Should Have At Least Once
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.