First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Randomize
