Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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