i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
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