did you get engaged???
it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Randomize
