What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
