i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Randomize
