Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
