He is such a slut. More and more my type.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
