I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
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