the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
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I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
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