So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Alive.
So much puke
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Randomize
