Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Randomize
