he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Randomize
