Quick, to the slutcave!
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Randomize
