doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
