my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
