it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
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