I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
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