he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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