Having a random hookup so left but love u
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Randomize
