I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Randomize
