I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize