I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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