Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
