OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
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