people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Randomize
