she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Randomize
