if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
my poor anus
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
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