Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
After tacos, we're chasing women.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
