Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize