Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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