i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
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He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
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BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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