Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
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