you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
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