Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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