Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
