took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Randomize
