Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Randomize
