The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
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