O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
God, I missed his penis.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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