"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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